the 2nd day of caroling

something happen to me during the caroling session in 24th december.We went to a house where located at 17th floor.. compare to wait for the list, i prefer to climb the stairs..as i had a long time didnt go for jogging long time and i run up the stairs..once i reach there, my first feeling was very tired, i can feel my heartbeat was very fast... As we sang along into her house, i started to feel dizzy and i kept singing with standing. starting from 2nd song, i started feel really dizzy and difficult in breath and i stop singing and i started loses balance and although my eyes was open, but my vision start to blur and finally everything is black and i am unbalance for now and the only thing i can do is faint. Before i fell, i heard a small voices( the voices was small and it become blur when my eyesight also blur) and i know is mom who take me to sofa to rest and it make me feel a little bit sorry for the host as i am the guest and still in caroling. Then, pastor give me a kind of medicine for dizzy to hold on and it works very well and it make me recover fast.Really thanks for their help although after that still have a little bit unbalance and dizzy. Through this incident, i also realize that many of them really take care of me and they kept asking me whether i am ok or not.. really thx to them, such as shi qing, michelle, ying qian, and many of them. And when i open my eyes again, i saw a person sitting in front of me and although he didnt ask or talk to me, but it really comfort me and encourage me to be ok. Then, we continue to caroling in few more house and at last, we went to choir teacher's house and its fun at there^^ WE countdown at there and we play and i ate two bowl of food...haha^^ As the caroling end, it means that christmas is here and through it i learn many things and think more.

A n after christmas night^^

Today is my younger brother's birthday.. didnt celebrate..^^ But there was a fun things happen during night... i went to friends house for party and my youngest brother calls and said that our home had no light...the whole street, the whole area..When i went back at 10 something, it continuously no light and it was complete dark in whole area. After reach home, i realize that nobody was at home then, i know that they are back from dinner near our house...we START to light up the house by using the fore and the candle..although its not the first time we are having this kind of circumstances, but it is the first time without parents and i felt a little bit scare..then i use the candle to light up the place where i need to go.. after settle, and all the bed was at downstairs ,at 11.11pm.. the light came and we have to move back all the things back to upstairs the poorest things is my two younger brother..they just took the heavy bed down and need to move up again ..haha.. during the time in dark, i feel afraid and unsecured and realize that how important is the light..and i also thought of some of the things i heard that we as a christian resembles the light of the world and we need to bring the light to the non-christians.. and i can understand a little bit the world of the non-believers is that dark and its sometimes full with scare and it doesnt had any good feel in there...
seems like the words stop at there..haha...cause thats the only thing i thought of in the short period of time...
Now is already late in the night. its time to bed..Bye and see you next time^^

A view on whole year

Especially want to thanks someone...
and i have done few first time with him..
1) there is first time in my life when i cannot sleep at night and feel scare, i called him. He comfort me.
2) I fought with mother...father scold me....then i went to church and pray..then i find him
again. He accompany me by my side then he tell me his own experience me and give me
advice and tell me to practice to be patience start from 3 minutes...
3) In christmas, he share the words and it make me stunned and it makes me thinks more deeply and realize that i have a complete family from young and i am more lucky then him...

It makes me really THANKS to him... and its like an angel that gods sent to stand beside me and allways remind me to back to god whatever happened. I really cant imagine when one day he left what will be my reaction and my expression to send him away...its the first time i took the steps to ask for help and thanks god i found the right person.. i know that he will probably not see this message..But its truly from my heart...

Finally,the only words i would like to say is " THANK YOU^^" to my pastor in charge in this year( MT)... i dunno there will be how many first time i will face and ask for your help but...the finest things i would like to say is only THANK YOU

Test*

Today is the day before test...now is monday.9.52am...still playing..not yet touch the things i have to do.. assignment,tutorial, and revision~!~haha^^ gonna crazy... Yesterday, i found out a website which can hear christian songs and is free to download and i open and haha..of course i enjoy it and forget the things i need to do.. DBsk had release some new songs and it was very very 'hao ting' haiz...kena addicted already..haha^^ really hope they will continue to bring more and more new songs for us especially in korean version...Hwaiting..Dong Bang Shin Ki!!! And may God bless all of us. Now i also need to fighting with the revision..see you all soon^^

NEW STARTING^^

1st sem final past.....
A new starting for me...during break...started work as nursery teacher..thought it was a happy job,but not as what i've thought of before..
different??blurring. Now just started 2nd sem for study..4 weeks.. Feel a little bit exhaust. especially the 2 days which i had to rush to my school straight from nursery then home then school...no time to rest. Sometimes even feel like want to sleep when drive. But luckily^^

But when yesterday when i telling some of my feeling to my friends, i suddenly think of god.Its real, I have to tell my stress or problem to god as our closest father. always will forget what he promised which show that he is our strength and as i arrived home i find daily bread instantly..cause it was an important element for me to make me more stronger from mind.

And today, when i go to nursery is like everything is changing. I started to hav energy and can handle many things although not all of them.. For all of this, i still want to thx god for now i realize God always help me from long long time ago until now.. feel like want to cry cause god take me as a very important daughter^^

And now i am fill with full of god's give energy to do all the work.. and i really hope i will always remember gods words whenever i lost direction or facing difficulties in life..Read God Word!!!! Keep going with god's strength^^....

FiNaL ExAm Is CoMiNg~~~~~.......

Three more days to come...sweat!! EXAM! I scared, but still dunno y. feel like dun want study...CANNOOOT!! MUST STUDY!! I havent started yet. YEsterday somemore i get a very high fever. i thought is H1N1. 39.4 degree celcius...whew so high..the first time..of course,then the whole day i cant event hold the paper on my hand to read..Haiz..so i decided go to bed early and wake up early in the morning to study. who knows, i sleep until 8 o'clock and the time i plan to wake up is 4 o'clock in the morning...somemore wake up already ok..i somemore go to watch movie ...DIE LA!!! AAAHHHH...ANyway, Have to go to study now..hope i can strive very hard and get a very good result like in the test..bye now and i will pray hard and study hard^^

Magazine Photo

Today is the day we all, Junior need to take the photo for school magazines. So , some of us wear as professionals and some of them are kindergarten children. I hav chosen to be a doctor.So, i lend my younger brother long sleeves lab coat. Then,Yesterday i sleep more late because thinkin of wat should i wear inside to be a really professional doctor.Haiz^^ always will hav that problem. Those are the picture i am keep changing.

the first pic i catch will formal long sleeve inside

then...

Change to black short sleeve blouse and black short skirt ,

still not suit...haiz
another one...

With white skirt, still cannot

Today, I decided to wear....

My Chinese club shirt..so decided and wear to school^^Finally..whew^^

Then WE start our photo session....

The student group...Me and the Nurse ( Yen Yee) and she is a real nurse^^

One of the kindergarten children..Cute right?^^ Josephine i am telling you the truth^^

Nicole had found a star and get autograph from her^^ i also want!!

My Patient..(siew Mei) really like kindergarten children^^

The good student changed and bully the other student..ouch!!

Then they went to play with their friend...

The story end..and i take photo with a model and student^^

I really enjoy the day and feel tired after the photo session...^^ but very very happy^0^

Hope my friendship with all the friend in class will continue.....muacks^^ luv u all

ExHaUsTeD

now is 12.35 am. feeling tired to do anything. really gonna exhausted with all the assignment stuff. if i could do it more earlier.......now also no need to work until this late somemore suffer with stomach ache..and i decided to sleep....but, once i think of the assignment going to passup tuesday, i really dunno what to do...two assignment plus 1 homework...long long journey to go...
oh ya!! i hav god . but i must promise to god that tomorrow i will wake up early then finish all the work. i will pray.Gambateh..Thx god for me to feeling stressful not very free...so i feel my life is full of things and i was satisfy with it and i also have to start strive hard to revise all the homework...Gonna go now..everyone...sleep....be a sleeping beauty ..then start a new life tomorrow with full of challenge...i like it!!!^^bye now

continues....

我真的很希望成为你的小女孩。
I really wish hard to be your little girl.
我不是很明白到底发生了什么事。
I’m not too understand what had happen to me.

当我发现自己的存在时，我很高兴。
When I realize existence of myself, I really happy.
我在那黑暗，但很舒适的地方。
When I was in dark, but comfortable place.

我见到自己的手趾跟脚趾，我已成长不少，
I saw my finger and toes, and I had grown more bigger,
但还未足够至可以离开那地方。
But it is still not the time for me to leave that place.

我用我的时间去思考和睡觉。
I use my time to think and sleep.
即使是我初开始成长时，我已感到我跟你的亲密关系。
Although is the first step in my growing process,
I already can feel the strong bond between me and you.

有时我听见你哭，我便会跟你同哭。
Sometimes I heard you cry, I will also cry.
有时你会大叫或者尖叫，然后又哭起来。
Sometimes you will yell hardly or scream, and then cry again.

我听见爸爸向你大声抱怨。
I heard daddy grumble hardly towards you.
我很悲伤，亦希望你会快点好起来。
I am very sad, also hoping you to recover soon.

我想知道为何你会常常哭。
I really want to know the reason you cry always.
有一天你哭了整天，我不能想象为何你会这样伤心。
There is one day you cry hardly for whole day,
I cant figure out why you are that sad.
就在那一天，最可怕的事发生了。
Just on that day, the most terrible things happened.

有一只很自私的怪物进来了那温暖又舒适的地方。
There is a very selfish monster sneak into the place I use to stay.
我当时很害怕，我开始尖叫，但没有声音。
I was really scare, I started to yell, but no sound.

我猜你一定是被捉住了，因为你并没有帮我，或者你并没有听见我。
I started to think that you must’ve been grasp by something else,
Because you did not help me, nor listen to me.
那怪物越走越近，我便一直尖叫：[妈妈，妈妈，救我！妈妈，救我！]
That monster slowly approach me,
I started to cries:[Mom, Mom, save me! Mom, save me!]

我感到无限的恐惧。
I feel the limitless fear.

我尖叫直至我想我已经叫不出来，然后那怪物把我的手臂扯裂。
I yell until I think I can’t cry out, then, the monster tear off my arm.
真的很痛，痛得我无法解释。他并没有停止。啊！我求它停止。
It really hurts, hurts until cant imagine. It did not stop. Ahhhh! I beg it to stop.

我在恐惧中尖叫，它又把我的脚扯裂。
Again I scream in full of fear, it tear off my toe.
即使我在那痛楚中，我知道我快要死了。
Even though I am suffering, I know I am going to dead.

我知道我永远也不能见到你的脸，
I know that I will never see your face,
或者听到你对我说你有多爱我。
Or listen to you and tell me that how much you love me.

我很希望把你的泪抹走，我有很多计划去令你快乐。
I really hope to wipe out your tear ,and I have many plan to make you happy.
但现在我不能了；我的梦想都走了。
But now I can’t; all my dream swept away.

即使我在那无限的痛楚和恐惧中，我仍感到我的心在碎。
Though I am in these limitless pain and great fear,
I still can feel my heart broken little by little.
我多么的希望成为你的女儿。
I really hope hard to be your daughter.

但现在没用了，因为我已在痛楚中渐渐死亡。
But now is useless, because I am dying in the great pain.
我只能想象那东西在对你做什么。
The only I can Imagine is what that thing has done to you.


我很想在我离开前告诉你我爱你，但我不知道可以令你明白的词语。
I really wanted to tell you that how much I love you before I leave,
But I don’t know the words that can make you understand.
直至我没有气去说这话，我死了。我感到自己在上升。
Until I am too weak to speak out those words..i die.
I feel that my body is flying up.

我被一个很大的天使带到一个很大很美的地方。
I brought by a big angel to a place where is very big and beautiful.
我还在哭，但身上的痛楚已离开了。
I am still crying, but the pain at my body was gone.

那天使把我带到主耶稣前并把我放在主耶稣的腿上。
The angel brought me to jesus and put me on his thigh.
他说他爱我，而且他是我的父亲。我很快乐。
He says he loves me, and is my father. I feel happy. ^^

我问他到底是什么东西杀死我的。
I asked him whether he knows what things has killed me.
他回答：[堕胎。对不起，我的孩子，因为我知道那是什么感觉。]
He says: [ Is abortion. I am sorry my child, because I know how it feels.]
我不知道什么是[堕胎]，我猜这就是那怪物的名字。
I don’t know what is abortion, and I assume this is the name of the monster.

我写信给你是要告诉你我爱你和我是多么的希望能成为你的小女孩。
I wrote this letter is to tell you that how much I love you and to be your daughter.

我用尽努力去生存。
I’ve strive hard to survive.
我想生存，我有这个志愿，但我不能。
I ‘d like to live, I have this aspiration, but I can’t.





那怪物太强，它把我的手和脚也扯断，甚至把我杀死。
That monster is far too strong, it tear off my arm and legs and killed me.
那根本不可能有的生存机会，我只想告诉你我曾尝试去和你一起。
With the tiny opportunity to live, the only things I would like to let you know is there is once I’d like to be with you.

我真不希望就这样死去，妈妈，请小心那名叫[堕胎]的怪物。
I really don’t want to leave like that, mom,
please be aware of the monster which named abortion.
妈妈，我爱你，我不希望你会受我所受到的痛楚。
Mom, I love you, and I don’t want you to get great pain as I am.

请小心。
Please be take care.

爱你的 小女婴
From your lovely little baby girl



*It is translation from Chinese, and sorry for the wrong grammar^^*

To all the people in the world *abortion*

To:whoever read this blog..
its sad because it has become normal things to some people to deal with abortion ...
let us read wat the baby are thinkin of although is not the REAL!!

TITLE:* A MESSAGE FROM A BABY GIRL*

一个婴孩的话

我现在在天堂，坐在主耶稣的腿上。

I'm now in heaven. sitting on Jesus legs.

他爱我亦与我同哭：因为我心碎了。

i knew that he love me and cry with me: because my heart was broken.

miss you!!

today is the day mei chi and minshi fly to korea.. a little bit worried because of the H1N1 disease also hav in korea. hope she will be fine at there.may god bless her and minshi. Hope they can keep in contact with us..

thursday 30th of april

back again^^happy day and a weird day.these day i alway wakened up with bad dream of assignment..haiz..i dunno y it just pop up at my head when i just wake up..and its always remind me that i havent done my homework.make me more scared=.='' whew..hope i can finish it more early..i am happy because today i chat with my secondary school friend,stewardess course friend and college friend one shot..i really miss them.although i can meet them all the time in college..and another two is my friend that has not contact for few months and i surprise by them and just chat with them>.

Hi everyone, may god bless.

This is the first time in..just want to make it as a special day for me..Today, is 24th of april 2009.now is 10.40am.and i 've decided to open this blog because someone else.haha...this is my new college friend and they are friendly and always crazy.^^Love them always..