My future ....~ Music vs Education

Nowaday, especially today, i have a really strong feeling on changing my course... feel like want to escape from it and turn into the things i really like to do... Y? Y suddenly i have this thought? What my feeling towards music is sooooo strong until i just get stress from music..Not even the course i am studying now!!! I am confusing now!!! totally!! Should i just end up this things i am done? But, how i want to tell my parents? Will they be angry or support me to go for it? i really hope i could go into the music field, though i still blurring about my future, but i hav thought to become an orchestra conductor, or a singer, or a performer and with base on god... What i should do now? I Love MuSiC. I like listen to song, i like to sing, i like to play, i have deep interest in everything related to music, the shirt with notes, or piano...what i should really do? God, I know if i keep think like this, i will dunno what to do...now, i want to hand it to you..Please god, Show me what should i do now? is it the assignment, that make me feel tension, or i really love music, or i am lazy? Music, Early childhood education??? I really want to make many song to serve god...can i cope with it? I really hope i can...

I really want to fly to the sky ady...happy until...1st time for after 8 year...we talk again, although is not face to face...it already is a big enough for me >.< I though that he will ignore me..but seems like i make a wrong guess... *cry happily* He reply my message, and even CHAT !!!! It really suddenly change to a very sweet memory...hope it will last from now until forever! For 8 years, although i have change, for my personalities, my characteristics, still there are some big big black mark in my heart, although i not yet ask or tell him about what had really happen to me since that very moment, but it can be consider as a good start to build the friendship again * blast in big drop of tears* It really is a joy to me. The moment i open the chat box, i was really scare that he will ignore it, It was the opposite!! when we start to chat, my heart is like start to putting down a big stone slowly and it start to crash little by little... although it just go on for a while.. But i would like to say a big: THANK YOU..which still accept me as your friend *guessing* REally a bunch of thankful with tears for you.. Although, you have gave me a totally bad memory for my standard 6 life.. still, because of that, i begin to stand up year by year and now i am who i am now... Suddenly think of god, 'god, it really is a miracle, i cant imagine we will welcome this day..it really surprise me.. THe first time ever since then, i feel happy until having tears in my eyes, it really had nearly crashed down all my bad memory for the past 8 years, god, you really is the one who always love me and thank god that give me this opportunity to talk to him again.. Although i still not confirm what will happen in future, but this friendship i really will keep it forever and always appreciate it...there is a little wishes i would like to make at here, and may god bless me , i really hope that, one day, i could share gospel to him and he will accept it and together, we will be your son and daughter and serve you until the end of our lives ^^

Today, Sunday, 9 May, its our mother day and our church is celebrate 'shuang qin jie'...i really tearing like a river..and it cant stop ...luckily i was able to stop it as the service start as i am the pianist... i dun want to cry as they sing a very happy song...so....But, it really makes me suffer a lot..I'm wondering that, y cant the people take serious with his own job and if someone can help, he should be appreciate that he was helped but it make me waited like a stupid in church for about an hour... Everytime when the same thing happen the only words can come out from the mouth of his is only sorry...does it mean that a sorry can make up everything start again? NO! and definitely NO!! it not just this people, shall i say that all you church youth member really like to be late on gathering or whatever circumstances... i really dunno what to say..is it time is not important or, they put god in the last place in their mind? i am wondering.. Although i had a hard time at the beginning of the day, but then, from there, immediately, i get comfort from many people and it had helped me to regain my energy and strength to do anything which waited me to done it. God also let me see that i am not the one which is keeping fighting with all the things to be done and there are many people which support me silently...Church is really a great place for me and i enjoy it very much... From there, i also found a friend like pastor which already saw my different kind of expression >.< and i really hope that he will keep staying in my church, but then, if he really need to go, thats the time i need to hold myself up with God strength and keep on to serve god and people and of course with all the member in church.
TO end my today blog, The only words i would like to say is : 'Thank You!!' To whoever comfort me, give me advice and the one which create the problem and make mess for my morning because maybe this is the things which god want me to learn :' PATIENT'!! aND Happy Mother's day^^